Monday 24 December 2012

A Very Puppy Christmas 2012

Sorry for such the delay in posts. Christmas came up on us fast.

The Calgary Kinky Kennel Club held it's second annual "A Very Puppy Christmas" party. It went very very well! I would personally like to thank Dan and Kevin for letting us use their loving home to host the party in. I think most of the success of the party goes to them! We couldn't of done it without you two! Another big thank to all who came! It would be nothing in absence of you!  Pup Kota was a good sport when he was nominated for the "puppy present" adventure. He made a good present. :)

Here is to a great party and even greater friends and company. Merry Pupmas!

Monday 26 November 2012

With Warm Regards

I received a message yesterday from a person who was at the boot workshop I presented. I asked permission if I could post the message on here, as it touched me very much. So, here it is.

"Hi Berith,

i hope it is ok that i message you here even though you were so kind yesterday to give me your email address (which i no doubt will use in the future!).

i just wanted to say again how much i enjoyed your workshop yesterday. i felt incredibly honoured and privileged to sit with you and Your Sir while you finished His boots. i have to admit that i never have really gotten the whole "bootblacking" concept. Sir has tried to explain it to me, the depth, the connection, the feeling of it all ... but it escaped me ... that is, until yesterday. Dont get me wrong, i have done Sir's boots and i have enjoyed it to a certain extent, but i knew there was "something" missing. After watching how your Sir watched You, quietly sitting, soft smile, the light in His eyes ... gave me goosebumps. Although you were teaching and focused on many things at once, i was absolutley bowled over by the connectiong between the two of You as you did His boots. And i'm very happy to say that i think got "it" ... i dont want to be so bold to say i completely understand, as that will be my journey going forward, but You both opened a door to me that i am very excited about.

i am very excited to venture forth and start obtaining the items that will grow within my own bootblacking kit (with your guidance i hope!). i have a feeling your handout will be referred to often ... :)
Again, thank you so much for your time, your hard work, the sharing of your energy, and for opening my eyes to such possibilies. i do hope that we can stay in touch ...

Warm regards, vixengrl"

Saturday 24 November 2012

Boots: Foundation of a Bond

Today, I gave a workshop with the above title. It went very well and I had lots of positive feed back from people who found it interesting and people who seemed very intrigued and eager to learn. It was a pleasure to teach, learn and make new friends.

From what is in a kit, to history and basic technique and even personal flare. Some people got down and dirty with me getting their hands covered in Huberd's and having a grand time. I learned a few things and came a little more out of my shell. It was wonderful. Thank you all for making the experience possible and making it a great one. I will save some information I shared for another post, but I will leave you with one quote I hold dear, that I heard from a friend.

"Boots tell a story, and it is our turn to get them ready for the next chapter."

Tuesday 13 November 2012

Blanched By Boots

I had made another observation while at Taboo. Of course to the main population, the dungeon area seems "extreme" and/or "hardcore". However, I found it odd that people seemed to be more ok with flogging, than they were with boot blacking! I believe I got more odd looks with my boot blacking than anything else in the dungeon (maybe with the exception of the hook suspension). Sure it can be a very intimate, but I just thought it was odd that people seemed to be more afraid to get their boots shined than they were to walk up to the cross and touch it.

Sunday 11 November 2012

A Beacon Of Light, In Kinky Times.

Taboo this weekend was a grand time. I got a nice fill of boot blacking and met some old friends, and made a few new ones. Even some friend I already had and didn't know where into certain things!

The big highlight was seeing a friend from high school. It has been pretty much exactly a year since I saw her last (at Taboo nonetheless) and reminiscing of her, I always thought of her as a little beacon of light on someones shoulder. Little miss open minded, but innocent and well behaved. I still see her that way, but I little less innocent. I always loved being around her as she made me smile and laugh. She commented that last time she saw me I looked as if I was "a kicked puppy", as I was not happy with my life. Now, I was feeling down because of the job I lost, but when she said I looked happier than last time she say me... Things sort of just clicked right then. Yeah, I lost my job but everything else is great. She may not be as innocent as I thought she was, but she is still the open minded and beacon of good that I thought she was. This is a bit of a thank you to her, that little angel that likes to sit on the left shoulder now and then.

I also got to run around in a giant inflatable hamster ball in a pool. What a fucking blast that was!

Thursday 8 November 2012

A Taboo Experience

Yup, it is that time of year again. The Taboo, Naughty But Nice Sex Show starts tonight. It one place where I don't feel super anxious and nervous with the amounts of people that are there because I guess I just feel... in my element.

Yours truly has been offered the chance to work at Taboo this year, in the dungeon. I will be bootblacking and I am quite excited. It has been a while since I have blacked due to the Eagle closing. I was hoping I would have my home made custom kit up and running by now, but alas I do not. I will be spending my morning today coming up with a good set of rags and system going because I will be blacking for a couple of hours and I want to make sure that:

                    A) I am comfy, 
                    B) The "blackee" is comfy,
                    C) I have enough rags to do a good job,
                    D) have good access to my supplies with out making a mess, and
                    E) Have a grand time

Since I just lost my job too (which sucks big time) I hope I make at least a little bit of money, but you know me... I hate pushing for tips for boot blacking. It just seems wrong to push.On the bright side, I guess it is cool how something that I get excited for every year and have fun at has happened to fall on the day after I am fired. I will do my best to take it as a pick-me-up. That being said, I am off to go work on things. See you all at Taboo this weekend!

Taboo, The Naughty but Nice Sex Show info can be found here.


Friday 2 November 2012

A Boot-iful Lesson

Well, finally something exciting to post about. And a shout out to awful puns.

Your truly has been offered to opportunity to present a workshop class on bootblacking. I thank Draxa for pointing those putting it on in my direction and Sir Lionheart for allowing this circumstance to befall.

I am very nervous as I have never done anything quite like this before, but at the same time I am very excited. I know this event is not... a 101 workshop. It is more than just a "how to". It is about the connection that is or that can form between those involved. The sensuality and sensuousness of said connection and the emotions that occur. The voluptuousness. Naturally, I am a bit apprehensive. Am I good enough? Well I suspect if I wasn't, no one would have suggested me, nor come to me to ask. I surmise I am more overwrought than fearful in this case.

I suppose I should stock up on my blacking supplies. Perhaps I should even work on that custom boot kit box I've been dreaming and rambling about. Yeah, I think I am just getting really excited now. Here I go, off to put together my lesson.

For those of you who have Fetlife, here is a link to the event posted on there: In Leather Spirit, Fall Workshop

Not Long Forgotten

Well, Since I started my new job, it feels like that is all I have been doing. It isn't but it feels like it. I have nothing to really rant about. To point out or explain. Or to even ramble on about. That being said, I felt as if I needed to make a post.

I feel as though I have been slacking off for procrastinating my duties for the Calgary Kinky Kennel Club. Granted I haven't had as much time as I used to for it, however it still is important and dear to me. Things have and are being planned!

Wednesday 8 August 2012

Piercing Pleasure

Warning: Totally contains nudity.

As many of my close friends know, I love piercings. I adore, admire and amour them. There is just something incredible and captivating about them. It isn't just that they turn me on, but they just seem to peak my interest in the perfect manner.

I digress (as I usually do). As a belated birthday present, Roscoe took us to Tribal Expression to get Prince Alberts together. I have always wanted a PA so naturally I am oh so very enthused. While we wait for the piercer to set up, Roscoe, Johnny and I  are sitting patiently... oh ok, Johnny and I were sitting patiently while Roscoe was fretting. He was super nervous I told him that everything is ok, it is just the usually nervousness before getting a new piercing. He agreed. After a little while, I go in to get the deed done. I drop trow and lay on the with my legs hanging lazily over the edge. I take note of the temperature in the place, as it is warmer than other piercing shops I have been in, which is nice as I am not shivering like a pupsicle. Every other time I am asked "You are shaking quite bad, are you nervous?" and my reply is always "N-no! I am just fucking c-cold!". So the piercer measures the stuff up and gets in position. The receiving tube, the most uncomfortable part, goes down my urethra, and she gets the needle close after explaining "No surprises, you'll know when its happening when I tell you to take a deep breath." She gets grabs my cock which startles me a bit, just enough to make me flinch which then brings the very tip of the needle to lightly prick the skin. This may have been the worst part, it didn't hurt, it was shock, just startling. Right away, the metal is shoved though my cock and into the receiving tube. A lot of guys cringe when they hear or think about this, but to be really honest, it didn't hurt. The worst part of the little bit of shock from the needle grazing me at first.

As the piercer gets up to get the jewelry I stop her to ask "This may be an odd request, but can I snag a picture of the needle in there?" She looks a bit stunned before a smile grin appears and retorts with "Uh, yeah... of course! Go ahead!" I look to Roscoe who then snaps a picture using his iPhone.

  
The needle sticking out. I think it is a bit shocked due to what happened.


After the picture was grabbed, the piercer goes to put the jewelry in and I don't even feel a thing. Not like when people feel something slight and say the didn't feel a thing... I actually didn't feel a thing. It was easy. the easiest piercing I have got to date.

Time for a related side story? I think so! As I have said, I have always wanted a PA, ever since I knew about them. Back in high school I was bored a home one night and insanely horny, so I decide to give myself one. Yes you read that right. I gave myself a PA. I apparently did it "the way professionals with at least 20 years of experience do it". I took the needle and carefully slide it through the opening slit of my urethra until the proper point without managing to snag the tip on anything, and shoved the needle through the flesh, inside to outside. I took it out after a day, I don't know why. It wasn't getting infected or anything. I really wish I hadn't done so though. Alas, I got it done again so no point in regretting past decisions!

By Thor's hammer, I fucking love this thing. I am SO happy with it!

Thursday 2 August 2012

Low End, High Role

We we all know I am a sub. I like to be on the bottom of the totem pole, right? Well, Roscoe and I changed that the other day. Unbeknownst to the bearpup, I had more in stock than just dying his hair at his request.

Roscoe took some time off when Johnny arrived back in town. He expressed that he wanted to color his hair for the duration of time he had booked off (though it looking like if his work doesn't mind, it will be staying). So the moment we got back to his place, we set to work. We got things all ready and organized. First, we have to bleach his hair. Otherwise, the bright color may not show up, standard practice.

 
Bearpup with freshly bleached hair.

Next came the coloring. Roscoe LOVES light blue colors so we decided to go with a turquoise color. I used "Splat" which is a dye I have never used before and thus have little knowledge on how it behaves and such. I was told it last longer than the stuff I am used to so we decided to try it, as Culture Craze was out of the dye I usually use. It was VERY liquidy and ran onto the scalp with ease. I did not approve of this and for reason... it stained. I am unhappy with "splat" and probably will not use it again.

Roscoe with the blue dye in the hair.
After waiting for the dye to take hold, he washed it out and then it was time to cut his hair. I did not cut it before hand for a reason (it is hard be be sexual with dye, oops! I foreshadowed!) . Roscoe knew the plans up to this point, but this is where I turned. I grabbed a leather leash I had sneakingly stashed nearby and tied his wrists together with it behind his back before plopping him down on the toilet seat. I grabbed the buzzer and held him close to my chest/stomache and ran the razor along his head. He hasn't seen his hair yet, so the only clue as to the color it is, is from the clippings falling down between our bodies onto the ground. I could not only see Roscoe dripping pre, but I felt it too.

Roscoe with his blue hair. You can see the leather leash used to restrain him. It wasn't tight because it had a nickle clip on it so I wanted him to be able to get out in case it touched his skin.

All the hair clippings. I didn't sweep them up until after because I didn't want to ruin the scene.

After I was finished buzzing the bearpups hair into a nice mohawk, I blindfolded him and gave him a well deserved blow job and milked him the best a could. I think he enjoyed it. He at least says so. It was a fun time and I did enjoy my little bought being in charge.

Bearpup in the midst of the action. This was the only in action shot I could get, as it is hard when your doing everything. Haha.

For those of you who wish to know what Roscoes hair looks like at the end, well here you go! We eventually redyed his hair using Punky Colors, because I wasn't happy with the dye job Splat did.

Roscoe and his fancy dancy new blue mohawk! See that smile? Oh boy does he ever enjoy it!

Tuesday 24 July 2012

Interview With PupPup Part.2

Apparently my first interview was good enough that people were requesting more. So I had a follow up interview. Here it is!


Is puppy play sexual to you?

Puppy Play can be sexual. It started out that way but quickly became, I dare say it again, a life style. It is more of a way of life now, who I am, down to the core. This isn't to say it isn't sexual anymore. It is, or can be. It is just that sex isn't the driving force behind it anymore, though it certainly helps.


Have you mentored other pups?

I have, and am mentoring other pups. Any where from helping them out with questions, concerns and even “how to's”, to taking one or two under my own wing, err... paw. I am a sub myself, so it has been difficult sometimes, but when I help them grow and learn, I even grow and learn myself. It is a never ending circle of learning. As someone dear once told me, “the day you stop learning, is the day you die”.


What are you favorite toys to play with as a pup?

I assume by toys you mean doggy toys and such. I had this little red ball thing. I think I lost it at Smokey's house when he lived in Toronto. I miss it so much. Current favorites would have to be a stuffed stingray I got in San Francisco on my first trip to the International Leather Sir/boy contest and Dore Alley. There is a stuffed mallard duck with squeakies in him a dubbed Senor Quacks-a-lot. Smokey was kind enough to get him for me on a visit to him. That's all I can remember at this time but I am sure there is more. I like to chew.


What pup gear you own?

Oh boy... I own a custom Rubberdawg hood, leather fist mitts, a leather hood that was gifted to me (I believe it may be a Mr.S hood), the puppy restraints from Mr.S, a couple different pup hankies, a Squarepeg tail plug (with another on the way), too many collars and leashes to count, Mr.S tail harness and wrestling shoes. I add that in here because they have soft soles and hard soled shoes in a puppy mosh can hurt a lot. I have a bunch of other stuff that is on its way, but do not currently has in possession, so I will not count those.


How does it feel being owned?

It is a comforting feeling. Relaxed in a way. It is nice to have someone help you out with decision and things. Definitely awesome to have a place and someone I can comfortably pup out with.


How does it feel being a stray?

I fortunately don't really know what this is like. I lucked out with my owner. He is my high school sweetheart. We both knew we were kinky, he introduced me to a lot. I came to him with puppy play and gladly accepted it. There was one time were we almost went out separate ways, and that wasn't a fun time, but we worked through it. That is the closest I have got to being unowned.


How did you get your pup name?

I actually picked out my own name. My owner liked it and adopted it. I initially was looking for a stage name for a band project that fell through. I liked the name so much though, and put a lot of thought into it, so I wanted to keep it. I was raised with a religious background, and I won't go too much into that, but I wanted to name that was contrast to my real name which had a deeply religious meaning. I am fascinated by demonology, and while going through Solomon's 72 Demons one day I came across Berith. Ba'al Berith was seen as one who sat among the princes of hell. His names means either “covenant” or “to cut until blood appears”. It is kinda dark, but, I am a dark puppy. Happy, but dark. *wag*


 Of course a few things have changed since that interview, but I answered for the time. My gear collection, for example, has grown quite a bit. Actually, it still is. I also don't really see it stopping anytime soon.

Interveiw With PupPup Part:1

A while back, I was interviewed by a pup. I came across the interview on his blog. Here it is:


Introduction:

Hello folks! My name is Berith and I am a human puppy. Puppy play is a huge part of my life and I love to share it and spread the joy and knowledge of it. The world of the homo-canidae (Unofficial Latin term meaning “man-dog”) is a really wonderful thing. I am hoping that my interview here, no matter how short it is, will help others out. Gruff!

-With Wags, Berith
Man's Best Fiend


What does puppy play mean to you?

To me, puppy play can mean a few different things, and not all at once. Over all, puppy play has grown to be more than just a fetish. It is comfort, an escape and dare I say it, a life style. Sure it adds some spice in the bedroom, but that is not what it is all about. A few feelings and aspects come about from being a puppy. Assurance, freedom, relaxation, stress relief, protection, self fulfilment and as I said before, comfort. It is a state of body and mind.


How did you get into puppy play?

Kind of a funny story... I was looking for porn on the internet. You know, like everyone does now and then. Nothing I was seeing was doing it for me. I swear I spent a good couple of hours just browsing and looking for something. I do believe puppy play has boomed in popularity even since I got into it because when I first started looking, I couldn't find anything, even though I know know it was there, somewhere. However I digress, after searching I finally ended up coming across a video of a guy in a leather puppy hood and a tail. I remember thinking to myself “Yeah, yeah that's it. That is me”. Ever since, ask anyone I know, I have been all about puppy play. It has become and is a huge part of my life.


How long you have been in the puppy community?

Approximately 5 years as of 2011. I have been dabbling in kink for about 6 or 7 years at this time. I have never looked back or regretted anything. Becoming part of the leather/ kink and pup communities has helped me in so many ways, and I do my best to give that in return.


Have you attended any fetish event? If not which would you want to attend?

Yes I have. Quite a few. Ranging from kink camps to bar nights, to events purely geared towards gay men to pan-sexual events. I have even have had the opportunity to organize my own events. Yes, you can guess one event or two was a puppy event. I have also had the pleasure of giving a helping paw at a few events as well. I have even taken place in competitions. I am the co-founder of the local human canine unit, “Calgary Kinky Kennel Club”, and it is doing very well. We have monthly munches and such. Attending and taking part in events I think is very important. There you can learn, grow and gain a sense of self importance. On top of that, you gain knowledge, while hopefully having fun. Knowledge is safety and I believe a lot of people can and do get into unsafe situations because they do not know.


How do you get into the pup headspace?

A lot of people say that having a collar put on them works the best. Not for me. I always wear my chain mail collar. The collar may add a something to the mind space, but since I wear it all the time, it has more so become a part of me, than an accessory. A few things can get me into the head space. There are two specific ones. One is wearing my hood. I don't have as good peripheral vision while wearing the hood, and this causes me to concentrate on more what is in front of me. While doing so, I see the snout of my hood and it reminds me of how I look in the hood and triggers the head space. The other way I can enter the head space is very, very simple. A scritch, casual and intentional, behind the ears or a good petting does it. Not all the time, but most often. Sometimes it just clicks. I don't know how or why, but sometimes I am my human self and the the minutes I am pup. Just like that. I also have a habit of switching in mid sleep. People eventually realized I have switched in sleep when I start chasing rabbits in my dreams. When I fall asleep in puppy mode, I always wake up in it too.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

Blow Your Mind: Canine Head-Space

 The following is cross-posted. It was an article I wrote for the Fetlife Puppy Play group.

There are a few questions that come up when people, especially new comers, talk about Puppy Play. I am talking about the ones regarding head-space. What is head-space? No no, that the area your head occupies, but your mind. Where is it at when you are in puppy mode? What is head-space exactly? Is head-space needed during play? How do I "get into it"?

These are all very good questions and ones worthy of knowing. First, what is it? Well, to get to that, let's recap over what puppy play is, by definition (keep in mind the definition isn't ALL what puppy play is, but the basis). Puppy play is a type of role play with an emphasis on the altered mind space and canine status. Hear that; altered mind space? These means that the mind morphs. It becomes, in this case, less human. Your mind starts to become more canine.  Have you ever had such a fantastic day that you feel like you are the king or queen of any and all, and can nothing can ruin your day, when you can tackle anything that comes your way? What about that time playing a Mario Cart and how eager and into it you are, that you feel you are right there, as you lift off the seat and gear towards the left, hoping and praying it will help your cart turn? How about alcohol? Being drunk and having a grand time is a substance induced altered state of mind. Adrenaline is a good example too (and in some cases the exact chemical responsible for altered states of mind during play). Those are types of head space. There are tons of states for everyone, especially in the world of BDSM. Ever heard of sub-space? Same thing, just a little different of a world. There are different states of mind, but since this is about puppy play, that is what we are focusing on. Head-space is the altered state of mind, when one leaves what they were behind and chooses to enter a new realm of thinking. In this case, that realm happens to be canine. It becomes deeply personal, like you are not role playing as a dog, but like you have become the dog.

Have you ever heard of sub-frenzy and sub-drop? No? Well visit the article Saba wrote called Sub-Drop and Puppy Play. In my experience I have found that human-canines are very, VERY susceptible to these phenomenons.I am sure all sorts of subs, slave and you name it can fall influence to sub-drop and sub-frenzy, but it almost seems inherent for puppies. Maybe is it due to the style and type of play and head-space? After all, bio-pups love to play and never can get enough.

Is head-space needed for puppy play? Well, I am sure it is absolutely NEEDED, but it certainly does help. A lot in fact. Have you ever tried to do something, but weren't in the mood, what ever it may have been? I believe these situations to be akin. You can play without head-space but it may be harder and no where near as fun.

How does one get into this altered state of mind? Triggers. One of the best ways is using triggers. For some it can be having a tail plug in. Most often it is a collar. Some puppies are a separate dog collar they use for play time and when it is place around their neck and they hear the click of the buckle... BOOM! Instant head-space. What your trigger is, you will just have to find out. One big fantasy for some puppy players, and one that is indeed reachable, is being conditioned. When they hear or see something they are trained to take on as a trigger, such as a word, or a dog whistle or something, anything, they dissolve their human side and become canine-like. Condition, maybe even broken down to the point when this signal what ever it may be, turns them. Some puppies it comes naturally too. It is easy for them to slip in and out (sometimes out is just as hard as going in, sometimes even harder) of the puppy head-space. Some have done it already for year without even knowing what puppy play is. Playing dog in the school yard at lunchtime in elementary school. I even knew an autistic kid or two who's way of coping and letting stress go was to get under the table and start barking and acting like a puppy. Getting in the right head-space is harder for some than others but, like everything, can become easier with practice. Some people really enjoy being forced into the mind-space. In fact, some people can't get into it unless they are forced to. When they do however, they are usually very deep in it.

It even can be possible that one wont remember something or anything at all when in deep head-space. Why is that? I believe it is because it wasn't the human mind that experienced it, it was the canine part that did, so maybe the canine mind-space can remember it, who knows. Am I saying that an altered mind is equivalent to another personality? Well, I suppose that could be the case, but a think it not what most us us think of when we hear that. I wouldn't think it harmful or distressing. Sure it might make you have some questions, but that what this group is here for! I definitely would not go as far as calling it split personalities, because it isn't really split. It is just altered. Thte definition of "altered" is "to make change, modify by will". To modify or change, something has to be there already. You are still you, just... different.

Are their different type a canine specific head-space? Of course. I am sure head-space varies from person to person in all aspects. There are two most common types of canine head-space. That of "dog" and that of "pup". Your "dog" head-space is usually achieved by old, bigger males. They have  the mentality and mannerisms of your bigger species of canine. Usually not as playful as puppies and tend to be a bit headstrong. Most of the time, are take on the alpha status. The most common head-space, that of the "puppy", tends to be very playful, loving and affectionate. They like to have someone to look up to, and very susceptible to sub-frenzy and drop.

Is partial head-space possible? Of course! A full, deep head-space is where your reality has be completely engulfed by canine status. You no longer think like a human, only like a dog, or at least what the human mind is capable of knowing what a dog thinks like. A partial head-space is where one can still perceive things as a human would. You can still... well, think. If you find yourself thinking "is that a ball? I should get the ball, dogs like balls", then your probably in partial head-space. This is the part that gets hard to explain. I am not saying dogs don't think, because they do. They just don't articulate or reason it like a human would. Reasoning? Did I really just mention that? Yes, I did. A dog's thoughts may not always be rational. Sometimes they may even be instinctual. Most often, a person stays in a partial head-space while in public. It is somewhat even recommended to do so. Why? Well, there are a few things one should be aware of in public. To play devil's advocate though, that is what handlers and training is for. Sometimes people just can't get into a full head-space unless certain conditions are right. That is fully acceptable and again, can be worked on with practice.

There you have mind-space. I hope the article has helped and encouraged you to think about your altered state of mind. If you have any questions, BRING 'EM! I am sure there is more out there.

The House Began To Pitch

Like that hurricane in Kansas that swept Dorthy away and separated her from home, I feel sundered. Why? The city has bought the land around, and including, the Calgary Eagle. The city is redefining the East Village, the part of town around and a bit north of the Saddle Dome. At first I was so ecstatic! One of the most down and dingy parts of the city where one dare not walk barefoot for fear of stepping on splinters of shattered glass smattered along the cold concrete and worse yet, begrimed and tainted syringes so empty yet still so full of addiction and animus. It was starting to become clean and even trendy. That is until a hotel bought the land beside the bar. Apparently no one wants a gay bar in the new soon-to-be trendy hot spot in town, let alone by a hotel where visitors (most likely from out of town, visiting for Stampede) will be staying. Has any thought gone into the feelings of others, did someone make decision with out thinking it through? Was it truly a callous judgement of some no-brain?

Even then however, it is not that which frustrates me the most. What does? The fact that a place I call home is closing. It hurts when you know the doors to a place where you feel safe and secure close shut on you. A brief feeling of panic, and intrusion. Even some anguish and anger. I feel like the lion hiding my own tail. This bar is not just a establishment of alcohol, it is a place that has established me. Part of me has grown up within those blue hued walls. As mentioned in a previous post, boot blacking at the Eagle is where I learned to finally make eye contact. I learned how to converse with people and venture out of my shell. That bar helped form who I am. So, naturally, I am devastated that my home is being demolished.

Will the bar re-open? I sure as fuck hope so. They are currently looking for a new place. It is just a matter of finding a good spot in the right location for the right price. There is fear that they won't re-open but I am trying to bury that stress away and label it as "unneeded". The new place will not be the same either. I mean, I am sure it will become to have the same feel and everything, but.. its not the exact place it was before, and to a person like me, that does count for something. Call it sentiment, call it heart.

A thought also came up: Is it the facility, or the people that made it home? I don't really know how to answer that to be honest. I think it may be a mix. Some people definitely helped, and others hindered. Either way, I am stressed about the situation, but I am doing my best to dismiss it until a finality comes to end. I am holding high hopes, that a new place will be found and that I can click my heels and have my wish of going back home.

Like Belly Rubs, For The Brain

That is really the only way I can describe it. It was very flattering when Beaupup pointed it out. As of today, July 18th, 2012, You can Google "Human puppy play", and when you search for images under that query, the first image to pop up is of me! I was sent a message on Fetlife telling me to search for "Human puppy play" and a massive grin grew on my face as I saw my image there. It is just a little... I can't think of any other words that flattering.

Dichotomy

A new enhanced blog! I apologize for such a delay in posting. I, along with a hefty handful of help from my loving husbear, have been working on the blog. Entries has been split into two different sections. All pup and kink related stuff will now be posted under "The Puppy Pages" here. All mindless, day to day happenings and nonsense will be posted under "The Boy Chronicles". As much as kink has become part of my life, I feel that certain things should be kept separate. That way you can keep up-to-date on just my kinky campaigns OR my commonplace constitutionals. Or both I guess, what ever your harboring mind chooses to cherish. Enjoy the upgraded narratives!

Wednesday 13 June 2012

August Psalms: My Doltish Grin

8:00 AM, my cell phone rings. It is sitting on the wooden bedside table, and set on vibrate. It makes a loud noise and I am shot awake. Half asleep I answer the call which happen to be one of my best friends, Scotty. The sunlight shines through the window, only interrupted by the curtain in front.  I mumbled "hello?" while still dazed. "Are you still going to the show tonight?" he says, and I reply with" Uh... Yeah, I suppose". I get up off the bed and stretch out one of my arms as Scott retorts with "Good, I talked to a guy at the venue just now, he needs two guys to help unload the bands stuff". I am dumbfounded and in disbelief. I have plans with Danica later but I cannot pass an opportunity like this. I again mumble "Uh.. hell yeah man, just.. uh... just let me nap and shower, i've only been asleep for like.. uhhh" I look at the clock, "two, maybe 3 hours?". "Ok, sweet man, don't be later than 2 0'clock, at the Distillery" he affirms.

I wake up about a half hour later, look at the window which is a little more illuminated now,  and stretch again. I step off the bed, one foot at a time and slunk over to the washroom. I stick my arm into the shower and get the water going, as I like the sound of the water falling from the shower head and crashing on the tub below. After relaxing and getting clean, I dry off with my red towel and get dressed. Black shorts, ripped up at the knees, with an Abigail Williams band tee. I adorn my brass bullet belt and brush the mess of a faded red mohawk before searching for my socks and signature bandanna that I tie around my neck. I assure my wallet is in my pocket by checking for the chain draping from my side. I have a uneventful scramble with the microwave to warm up some home made mac and cheese and mix some iced tea while it warms up. After eating I search for my keys and head out the door. I am on my way downtown from 17th Ave when I whip out my phone, and I call Scott. "Hey?" "Oi!, I wasn't dreaming was I? I was barely awake." I tell him. He informs me it wasn't. "Holy fuck! You're serious. This is awesome!" I say with exuberant enthusiasm. He then states "Haha, rad man, I am too, I'll see you there at two".

After a brief phone call with Danica, we decide we are meeting at 4th street train station, Scotty is on his way there too. We hang out with Danica for a few minutes before we realize the time, and have to get to the venue. She accepts and we go our separate ways. Scott and I get to the venue while discussing how I was the first one he thought of when he found out and the only one to get back to him about the whole ordeal.We are informed that the bands will arrive around 2:00 PM, and as we are a bit early, we help clean the bar. Bottles here, glasses over there and put the cans and plastic bottles in this bin after emptying the left over liquid into this bucket here.  I cut myself on something, I have no clue what, but I wash up and and continue. Time passes and near 4 O'clock the bands finally start to show. It dawns on me half way through unloading all the drums, guitars, amp heads and cabinets and looking down at the florescent orange tape on the case I am carrying, that it is labeled "1349". My heart skips a beat. I am holding equipment that belongs to a band I thought would never come to Canada, let alone Calgary. Not only am I going to see them live, but I am helping them set up! I hear Scott say that Marduk is off to Starbucks for some coffee and my heart skips another beat.

After unloading, Scott and I make a trip to McDonalds' and when we get back, we unload Withered's equipment. Danica tries to get a hold of me, which I do not catch onto, perhaps due the fact I was carrying a bag of cymbals that I swear weighed as much as one of those big grey elephants with all the rugs and golden chains and bells on them, with the Persian emissary on top. I see Danica outside, and give her the last cheeseburger we had, as I was thirsty, not anymore hungry. After relaxing in the alley behind the establishment, on the ground in between Marduk's and 1349's tour bus and Weapon's van, we head back in. Scott and I have had about two ciders, on the house, by now. I find a poster for the show and take it down to get signed later, while the bands finish setting up and go through with their sound check. The band members, bar staff and people helping out all just relax together before the show starts.

People start to arrive and the show slowly comes to start. I go to stand in the what was then a small line-up at the merch booth, when I get a tap on the shoulder. The owner of the bar came to collect Scott and I for a shot, on the house. I am pretty positive it was Fireball Whisky with a bit Captain Morgans Spiced. I spend most of the time offering more help that goes unneeded, and conversing with Tessa, new friend and girl at coat check. Reverend Kill begins to play and it is pretty good. After Weapon, whom was also good, plays, Scott and I head out back so he can smoke. We come back and stand stage side and watch/ listen to Withered play.

Scotty taking a picture of myself with my iPhone while Withered plays in back.

It was not long after the moment the above picture was taken when it finally and abruptly kicked in. Out of the corner of my eye, behind a half ass curtain, I see something. I turn to get a better look and I was right, my eyes hath not deceive me! A face covered in corpse paint. In a moment of pure excitement, perhaps a little drunken for I have had something like 3 ciders, 2 beers and a shot. One of the beers was complimentary of Reverend Kill. Anyway, at this moment a doltish grin grows on my face. I am sure if I could grin any wider, it would have become Chelsea. Scott smiles as I hold a giggle of joy to myself, while I unsuccessfully try to wipe that insensate anchored on my face. We watch 1349 from side stage with utter glee, wondering down to the floor to mosh twice. I could do nothing but hold my head high as I was from behind stage and look at all the people catching glimpses of me coming out from an ara I am sure they can only dream of wondering to. Near the end of the last song they play, Scott and I run back stage, and stand await in the back hall. The band comes off stage, It feels like my aorta is trying to crawl up and out of my throat. We greet them, tell them it was a great show. They tell us that they hand fun, and the will probably be back because "the crowd behaved". You always hear about bands saying they really enjoy the show in your city, but I will tell you know... it is completely different when you yourself hear it directly spoken from their mouth, addressed to you with remnants of Norwegian tongue.  I get my picture taken with them and ask them to autograph the poster I have, and they happily comply.

Ravn, Archaon, Seidemann and Myself in the hall behind stage.


After talking to 1349 a bit more, Scott and I head back to the side of stage to watch Marduk. It was other moment when that fiend of a grin appears again, not on my face, but Scotty's this time. We watch the show from the side of the stage and after the second encore song, we again race back into the hallway and await for this band. The same thing happens, autographs and talking to the band.

I hit up the merch booth where the guy told me to come after the show to get a discount. I get a 1349 shirt, as it is all I can afford and thank the merch guy before heading back to help the bands pack up. I do not see a face, I only hear a voice that says " Hey, can you put all the drums in their cases?" It feels as if I received a shot of pure gaiety. I blithely do so, and once it is all packed, I help carry things out to the trailers. I catch Frost outside and ask if he has a moment for an autograph and picture. While he hands he stuff he is holding to Scott to hold so he can sign my poster, I tell him that we have met before but did not get a chance to talk or snap a picture. He smiles as he signs and then we were all off to finish packing.

Myself with the man I first believed to be Frost. However, after looking at the picture, I find it to be Jon Rice from Job For A Cowboy. Apparently Frost could not make in the country.

While we were waiting in the back hall for instructions on what do to next, we began talking to the bands again. It was about then that some chick bursts her way into the back hall. I have no clue who she was or how she got back there. Frost is busy in the hole-in-the-wall washroom, wiping off his corpse paint when this woman kicks him out of the washroom. He stands there trying to comprehend what just happened, with only half of his face wiped clean of the now what looks like black, white and grey abstract smear on his face as the red washroom door slams shut in his face. "Are you serious? I thought you worked here, why don't you go and use the provided public washroom that would be illegal not to?!" he shouts at the door. I turn to him and inquire " Did she really just kick you out of there?", he nods as we both utter "What a bitch".

Scotty and I carried some more stuff out, I with a roll of carpet and a stool, hand the stool off to Scotty as the carpet is shredding and I am trying to prevent it from getting caught on anything. I stayed in the alley to help organize things, as Scott runs back inside to clean up in there.One of the member of Withered and I played a game of Tetris with their equipment, trying to fit in all in the trailer. After joking about it and saying "who said video games didn't prepare you for life?", we laughed and it was then that Scotty came on got me. "That's it! Lets go talk to Mark and see if we can go home". We find Mark and he shakes our hands as we offer to help like we did anytime it is needed. He infers to a date when Anvil is coming and then buys us both a Jager-Bomb.

Scotty runs off home as I wait for Roscoe who graciously offered to pick me up, as my feet are rally, really sore. I walk to where the Roscoe is picking me up and a show him the poster with all the signatures on it, as we drive off into the moon-light night, home. That is the end to a wondering day, and an amazing night. It was by far the best show I have ever been too, and one hell of an experience.

The poster I took and had signed by Marduk, 1349 and members of Withered, Weapon and Reverend Kill.

A Long Overdue Post

I have been putting off this post until a got a picture of everyone together. I have one now, a spectacular one. As some people know, JohnnyNaughty have come to sojourn with Roscoe and I. It has been a great time, and at the time of writing this post he is off visiting his friend Chris in Vancouver. Roscoe and I , in the eleventh hour, miss him both equally. He has been dubbed Papa Bear by myself, and even though I have a great interest in him, I just got out of a long term relationship, and as such, I do not wish to jump into anything. I am very glad he has come to visit howbeit and secretly (though not really) hope he decides to stay.

I won't go into detail about what we have been up to, as he is doing a wonderfully fantastic job of that in his blog. You can find his blog through the "Links" bar in the side menu of mine. You know. that one right over there. Keep going... No not that one... A little more to the right. YES, That one! Good boy! He has been keeping a day to day journal of his adventure and it is a good read, so read well.


This is Roscoe, Johnny and myself outside of the Calgary Eagle as you may have inferred due to the lovely metal sign in the back. A thanks to Joel who took the picture for us. It was a good night. We didn't do much in excess of a bit of boot blacking and hanging out with Joel and Marc, as well as a few others. It was overall a very enjoyable night, best bar night I have had for a long while.

I cannot wait for his return. The food he makes, and what we cook together is amazingly good. The company is incredible and the cuddles and hugs are even better. Even though I find discommode in sleeping in a bed with more than one person, that is not Johnny's nor Roscoe's fault. I just find it hard since i sleep all curled up and puppy-like and need space. He is a great guy, on a great trip to have a great time.

I Need A Medic! This Man Is Dead... Gorgeous!

See? I told you there would be another post about a drop dead handsome man. I really mean drop dead too, for he knows the dead all too well. I am sure he eats, sleeps and thinks about the dead. On some very well known occasions, has even walked with them. That's right folks, I am talking about the one and only, co-creator of the Walking Dead, Robert fucking Kirkman. I am a HUGE fan of his work and his beard. From the hilarious exploits of Battle Pope and the work with Todd McFarlane known as Haunt, this dude is one awesome engineer of the imagination. We all know my adoration of bears and beards and my admiration of zombies, so this man is an obvious choice for me.I have met Tony Moore and got his autograph which was awesome, oh boy was it. However, I cannot wait for the day I meet Robert Kirkman. The man is a sexy genius and you know I hope to do more than get his autograph.



I also love the thing he does with his eye brows. That confused weirded out look is cute. Yes, I said cute .

Friday 8 June 2012

Helloooooo Nurse

Post like this one will probably also come up a lot. People who I think are drop dead hot. Yeah, yeah I know. But sometimes, I just can't help it. So here is the first one, and he totally play into the tattoo AND 1930's mafia fetishes. Welcome... Mike Ness from Social Distortion.


That is one sexy piece of man there, yessir.

Wednesday 6 June 2012

Memorandum Mosey

I think this is bad ass. I can now blog on the go! This puppy has figured out how to post entries from his phone! So if there is something exceptional that I think needs to be posted on the double, you can bet your assets I will!

I think this function will be used mostly on trips and outings where I may be away from a computer for a while. That way, while I am off on admirable and ambitious escapades such as Rubbout and what not, you shan't be left out. Let the blogging begin! Er... Uh... Again!

Sunday 3 June 2012

August Psalms


I was rummaging through pictures I had taken on my phone and I came across a couple that I want to keep but had nowhere to put them. Until now! As we all recognize, I am extremely enthusiastic about my music. I am a metal head to the core. So when I had a chance get my picture with some of those people I venerate, I do just so.  You can wager that there will be more picture like those that follow!


This would be Torbjørn "Thebon" Schei from Keep Of Kalessin and myself. We are standing just outside the entrance to the McEwan Ball Room. They came to town with Sepultura and Neuraxis. This was the second time I have seen Keep Of Kalessin and it was a friggin blast!




This.. This my friends was a blast and a half. This is Daniellica and myself (holding a Finnish flag on my arm. Yes, it happens to be signed by Korpiklaani) posing with Mr. Jonne Järvelä of Korpiklaani. I fucking love this band and this man. I have seen every show they have played in Alberta totaling at 5 at this time. This picture was taken somewhere within the confines of the Pawn Shop in Edmonton. I don;t normally enjoy shows in Edmonton but this was spectacular. The Line up consisted of Korpiklaani, Arkona, Forged In Flame and Polkadot Cadaver. It was the first time I had even heard of Polkadot Cadaver and they speedily became one of my favorite bands.

Thursday 31 May 2012

A Tip, On Tips.

So it seems a lot of stuff I post on Fetlife means a lot to me and/or I deem important enough to re-post here.
My good friend Boy Rene asked a question regarding tips from boot blacking. The following is my reply, my tribute to a thankful token.

"I believe that once the tip leaves their hands and into yours, it is then yours. What you do with it does not matter.

I tell people that their tip goes to one of a few things: Travel fund for events (even if it just gas money to and from Edmonton to boot black at an event and having a blast), food for my beloved animals, and restocking my boot black kit.

When someone tips you, it is to show their appreciation for you and your effort and skill, a token. I am more than happy and very thankful when someone tips me, but that is not why I do it. I am thrilled when someone tips me because it shows that they acknowledge me and the effort of what I have done. It has nothing to do with the monetary value of the paper they hand me. It has everything to do with their smile and gratitude. The is their requital, only a vessel for their acclamation and appreciation."

After some thought I would like to add a few points. Even thought I am more than happy to do a service and provide care for your boots and leather, I am using my materials to do so. Those materials cost money, money I earned and use to buy my materials. It is very nice when someone helps me restock my kit by tipping me after I helped them with their leather. Don't get me wrong, I won't demand a token tip, but it is very nice to receive one. Yes, it is a service. However, once again, it is nice to have your skill, effort and service admired and appreciated.


Tuesday 29 May 2012

Approbation: A New Meaning To "Bootlicking"

Well, not quite bootlicking. I know it was meant in all sincerity and I appreciate it. In fact, Those honeyed words were actually gratifying and a great compliment.Wondering what was said? This last Saturday I went boot-blacking at the Eagle. This one fellow, whom I've met in passing before, said he wished to have his boots done that night. I smiled and told him I would get set up, and set up I did. After massaging the grease into his boots, he commented that it was like I was making love to his boots. I blushed what I am sure was a deep crimson color and smiled a big thank you smile. He then turned close to me and the next spoken words are what really caught me off guard. He mentioned that a local news paper, I believe it was FFWD, had a local peoples choice award, and if I would be offended if someone nominated me. I exclaimed "NO!" Why on earth would I be offended? I am beyond flattered. I am honored and humbled by the fact that someone thinks my skills, my attitude and my commitment are worth appreciating. See's my work as giving to the community, which is exactly as I have meant it; serving that which has served me.

If this does happen, if I am nominated... No. Not even. Right now, I thank you. I give the community, which has given so much to me, thanks. It is one thing to feel accomplished through self worth, but another to have it noticed by those you around you. Thank you.

Tuesday 22 May 2012

The Movie With The Reznor Song

I love my music, that much is clear. I am a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor's works (more so the older stuff). I stumbled across a video of his remake of the Immigrant Song he did, featuring Karen O and Atticus Ross. If you have seen the beginning of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, you know what I am talking about. I actually think it is kind of hot, so here it is. Enjoy.

Monday 21 May 2012

Puppy-Play: Leather Darwinism

Adding onto my last post here. It reminded me, I guess in somewhat of an odd way, of another post on Fetlife I made ages ago. I again feel it is important enough to cross post.
"One thing you always hear about in our community it togetherness, cooperation, empathy and growth. Do we see it though? I have noticed, through my nasty habit of over analyzing, that what happened in our community is exactly what civilization does. It fears growth...

People think Puppy-Play is new guard. I am sure we first disagree with this because of the new-guard label. I have met many people who look down on it. I have met some leather folk who look down on it. Puppies usually tend to stick together, while being pack animals, there obviously isn't anything wrong with that, but you don't see them out in the community aside from pup stuff. Puppy relationships are usually a puppy and an alpha pup, or a handler and a puppy. There usually isn't a mix. I have also noticed that people look at it like a fetish, a side dish. They take no notice to the role or how the person identifies. To me, this is fear. This is fear of exactly what they want.

I believe it is a natural evolution in the leather family. Puppy-play is not a side dish. It is a role. Just like that of a slave, a boy or a Sir. A puppy identifies as a puppy, it is who he/she is. I do not think this should just be dismissed as some have done, and I am sure will continue to do for a while, but instead rejoiced. Once again, we have visible growth in our community. This isn't new guard or old guard. It is evolution. Our community has evolved and expanded. Grown. Out of natural causes, a new family member has been born. We should all be proud that what we aim for and talk about so much, can and is actually happening!

I believe we should all embrace this and accept puppy-dom into our leather families. There should be no reason why we cannot see a daddy instruction his boy and puppy. A boy playing his puppy. We can intermingle, it is what family is about. I know of one family that has puppies, boys, Sir and Daddies and slaves. Granted it is a big family, but it is beautiful to see to work. Utterly beautiful.
Hopefully this grants insight on the role of a puppy and the leather family. I hope to see pup-play become more of a part of our families."


With wags, Berith
Man's Best Fiend

No, Thank YOU Sir.

My dear friend Boy Rene asked me if I could go up to Edmonton on Saturday May 19th to bootblack at Thank You Sir. I was very happy he asked and I jumped on the chance.

As of late, boot blacking in Calgary has been... I don't know how to put it politely. Lame? It seems that not a lot of people want to have their boots shined or their leather conditioned. Actually, I have noticed a lot of things in the local community. It seems no one has any inclination to help others out. That, along with some other things (that I won't go into detail) just had me down.

That being said, I was excited to attend an event and have the opportunity to bootblack for a new crowd. I knew it be exciting and fun, but not like it was. New crowd yes, but not new faces. It was exciting to see friends and the like, and to have them see me in my element. It brought a whole new level to the experience. Rekindled, I think that is the right word. I do not know how else to put the feeling into words. We all know I am terrible at naming the emotions I feel. Lightened heart, rekindled love and a content smile. I think that about sums it up. I am so very happy and thankful for the chance, I again feel what I did when I started boot blacking.

Friday 18 May 2012

Boots: Empowerment, Enlightenment

I wrote a post on Fetlife about a year ago, and I wanted to cross post it here. The time and this post mean so much to me and I believe it is a valuable memory and experience and is important enough to cross post.

"Boots have been a sign of empowerment for a far while now. For most, a sign of the top dog. My night last Saturday, another point of view was imposed.

As some know, I have taking on boot-blacking at the Calgary Eagle Saturday nights. This past Saturday I didn't think was going to very busy, with that dance of sort going on. People where getting their boots done there by my dear friend Boy Rene, plus, everyone was there, not at the bar. However, I made a vow to be at the Eagle every Saturday, so I braved the blizzard and went anyway. It was a very slow night. I arrived around 8 o' clock and it was pretty much dead except for David, who kindly asked me to give him a quick cleaning. It wasn't until about midnight at least that the night became interesting.

At that time, I assume the dance had finished because a flood of people came into the bar. A fellow I had talked to a few times wanted his boots done, so being oil tans, I conditioned them. They were a lighter tan color, with a hint of orange-red. He expressed that he wished they were a bit darker, so I informed him the boot grease I was using, Huberd's, would probably darken the boot a bit. He nodded and smiled and I massaged the grease into his boots. The turned a nice deep red/ tan color. He was enthusiastic. I told him they would lighten up a bit, he was caught up in the hype. People watching comment that I was being so thorough. I was using my hands which enthralled a few, I guess I took a few boot cherries that way, they never had someone use their hands on their boots before.

I actually had a line up! I don't think I have smiled so wide at the bar before. I was invigorated! I've always thought boot-blacking was fun, and it gave a comfortable atmosphere to break out of my autistic shell and actually communicate with people. However, this time, I think I got high off of the hype! Others being hyped up around me with the now shiny boots, the smiles, the excitement.It really brought out my confidence and my spirit. Who knew that having black laden hands and sitting at someones boots would empower me so much?! This, this is what it is about. Boots are power. Not just of the top dog, not just a sign of power exchange, but a the power of ones self. Self confidence. I cannot further explain how grand it made me feel. No wonder this has become such a part of our community. It is not just because the alphas want nice shiny footwear. No, something like that needed more too it. The Blackers. The servitude, and the satisfaction, the hype and the enthrallment. That is what makes boot-blacking a big part of the community."

With Wags, Berith
Man's Best Fiend

Advent

Good day! Or Night. Which ever it is where you are. This my dear friends is your obligatory introduction post. It just seemed odd to me to randomly start posting about crap, so... Here I go. Fuck yeah! POSTS EVERYWHERE!

With Wags, Berith
Man's Best Fiend